apparently being fat isn't a job

Alright so today I'm laming it up. I went to the gym yesterday for an hour and a half and feel like I did enough self ass kicking to cover my laziness for today.

That and my arms hurt. So here come the excuses already and it's the second day back in the groove. Instead of heading to the gym (like half a block away from me, shut up) I started a food log online and in my moleskin so I can both be judged by others and myself on a daily basis for thinking tender thoughts toward dirty milano cookies. This is why I just need to not have this shit in my house. Because then I get in the "well the only way to get it out IS TO EAT IT" mentality which means me buried in my pantry wolfing down cookies and cereal instead of just throwing it away like a sane person.

I think this new diet/exercise program might be getting some of my motivation back. Except, you know, when I'm avoiding going to the gym but still. At least I have the dream of having motivation. I'm also submitting an application to do volunteer work at the hospital and am now fully through 4 agencies trying to help me find jobs.

You hear that Wisconsin unemployment? THIS IS ME, STILL WAITING FOR MY DAMN CHECK. I'm about go Stewie on someone's ass "BITCH WHERE'S MY MONEY" style. My bank account is down to about $200 and my savings is almost non-existent. I have to talk myself down from daily panic attacks that I'm going to end up homeless and fighting with the fat ginger cat outside for the scraps left over under people's grills.

I need to find a way to make money that isn't prostitution or selling valuable organs on the black market. But I also don't want to get stuck in some dead-end job working for some douche opening his emails and answering phone calls. Except I have no idea what I want to do anymore. I want to write but the only thing I know how to write about is myself and I don't think I can publish a book about how to lose your job and sit on your ass for two months. Because I think half of America already knows how.

I'm hoping losing some weight can get me back on track, or at least give me something to do until my unemployment runs out and I end up homeless outside with the ginge.

Seriously though. WHERE'S MY MONEY?